For The Ones Who Show Up

this is for the ones who show up

“Don’t forget your friend or your parent’s friend. Don’t always go to your family for help when trouble comes. A neighbor close by is better than a family far away.” - Proverbs 27:10

This is a Sheila equation -Friends + Family = Framily

Framily™ (noun): The sacred community created where friendship and family meet. Framily names those relationships that extend beyond biological or legal kinship—people who become family through love, care, commitment, shared experience, and the intentional practice of showing up for one another. From the Sheila Dictionary

“Framily is not necessarily the family we are born into. It is the family we recognize, cultivate, choose, and sometimes inherit through community. Within Black communal life, framily can describe the aunties, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, elders, and beloveds whose familial roles are established not simply by blood, but by relationship.” —Rev. Sheila P. Spencer

For the past few weeks, I have been immersed in special containers of community. Last week, I was at the Women in Ministry Conference—a safe place for Black women in ministry, a framily place.

It reminded me of years ago, shortly after I moved to Indy.

The first time I ever had to have major surgery, I was living out of state, physically far away from my family in California.

I remember the night when I was in excruciating pain. I called my sister-friend who lived nearby, and she took me to the hospital.

I learned that I would need major surgery and that my recovery would be six weeks. My mother flew out to be with me for the first week, but my recovery extended five weeks beyond that. Unable to lift, carry, or drive, I had to lean into community.

The first night home, a friend sat with me, scrolling through her phone and naming meals. I questioned her groggily. She replied that a meal train was being planned.

My heart was overwhelmed by the fact that as I literally lay on an operating table during surgery, people were not only praying, but were preparing tangible care for me—preparing meals, volunteering to do my laundry, take out my trash once a week, and take me to doctor appointments.

An acquaintance cleaned my home and she refused to let me pay her. She said that this was her offering.

As someone who is a giver, this was difficult but enlightening. It was a tangible embodiment of love and Proverbs 27:10.

I was living in the scripture that my mother always taught me:

You never know where you will be or who you will need.

For those of us who have moved and find ourselves in new communities…this is our reality.

For those of us with no family ties—this is life-breathing and necessary.

To those who are friends who become my family:

Thankful for the existence of true framily.

Friends + Family = Framily™ — a sacred and restorative community.

Rev. Sheila P. Spencer

And speaking of the ones who show up… An Invitation to My Framily 💜 SAVE THE DATE! ✨

On November 8, I’ll take the stage with Storytelling Arts of Indiana for WHAT WE CARRY.

Framily, I would LOVE to see you there!

Can’t join me in Indianapolis? Virtual tickets are available, too! 💜

Stories. Laughter. Reflection. Truth. And yes… a little Sheila. 😊

Sunday November 8, 2026 4:00 -5:30 PM
🎟️ Click here for tickets:
https://www.tickettailor.com/events/storytellingartsofindiana/2281367