I have shared that my time as a chaplain was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. I am grateful for how it has shaped and shifted my perspective. It taught me the importance of presence and intentional listening. Your life can never be the same, when you walk with patients and family through transitions of life and death. I remember listening to patients who shared that their perspective and priority became crystal clear when they realized they were dying. I remember a patient who shared with me and told me to make sure that I remembered her words. She told me, “Live your life.” She thanked me for taking time to just be with her ……. but I told her that I thanked her for pouring wisdom into me.
As I reflected on the experiences, I noticed that there were several topics that always emerged during my conversations. This was further confirmed when I read about a nurse who cared for patients the last twelve weeks of their lives. She collected her reflections and wrote a book “Five Regrets of the Dying” Bronnie Ware also shared about the clarity that the patients have. Their words are wisdom for those of us who remain. As I reflected on the top five regrets, it transports me back to my chaplaincy and how I treasured and honored the wisdom of their words
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret. Take advantage of every moment to use your gifts and talents. They remind us that that there is a freedom that health brings and we don’t realize it until we don’t have it.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. We all work. But how many of us have put work over family, health and other priorities? She shares that many parents shared this, wishing they had not missed out on children’s activities. A phenomenon that has happened during the pandemic has been called The Great Resignation, This term coined by Anthony Klotz addresses the massive amounts of Americans who have resigned from their jobs. I am learning the boundaries, take your vacation days and prioritize the boundaries.
"During the pandemic, because there was a lot of death and illness and lockdowns, we really had the time and the motivation to sit back and say, do I like the trajectory of my life? Am I pursuing a life that brings me well-being?" Klotz said.